I bombed my speech.
I don't understand why I can never do well in public speaking. No matter how hard I pray to not suck, I always do. No matter how hard I will myself not to get nervous and stumble over my speech, I always do. I practiced and memorized but I still can never do well.
I wanna cry for the failure that I am and forever will be, but I won't. Not in a public place like this.
I don't why, but everytime I come up front to talk, everything just gets messy. All my comprehension about my script just trails down a drain somewhere and what came out of my words were just mere words which I spew out without much thought. And my mind suddenly decides that they want to take over now, and as I stand flapping and gaping and staring at myself being control by my own mind, which is happily disarranging the whole speech making the whole thing all messed up.
I suck. I even forgot to print out some papers which happens to cost me 10 marks. Which is A LOT. Good thing puan sympathized with me and gave me a chance to submit it later. She probably pitied me cause I suck so much and she was afraid for my results. Before my speech she even said, "Yasmin, I hope you give a better presentation today than you did last week." Yeah I bombed last week's as well. I was all over the place. She must've been disappointed. I'm even the class rep. Chosen randomly, but still. I'm not worthy, might as well go kill myself or something.
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